Chapter 44: Pain as privilege
Photo of a strange site while walking out of radiation, March 2020. Surgical masks lying in the garden outside of the hospital. I think this photograph is a perfect and beautiful representation of finding beauty in the midst of unexpected challenges. Spring will still come, after all.
Today is a rainy Tuesday in the middle of a pandemic and in the middle of my first cycle of chemoradiation, yet I’ve never been happier.
Today, I’m still alive. I’m sitting at home, eating my favorite foods (yep, my appetite came back!) and drinking an entire pot of coffee while I frantically type up all of the thoughts in my busy, busy brain.
Thanks to you, my incredible and inspiring readers, I have decided to turn this blog into a book. I had my first meeting with a fantastic publisher this morning to set the stage for what (I personally feel) could be an interesting story to share with the world.
I’m dying, as we all are, even though we don’t like to think about it. But, today I am alive and I choose to live this day in the best way that I possibly can.
I’m spending this precious day taking the words I have written on this blog and transforming them into a readable manuscript-half memoir, half nonfiction story- that is really much more exciting than any fictional story I could have ever come up with! Don’t you think?!
Malignant brain cancer may not be the answer for struggling writers around the world, but it was inspirational to at least one writer and for that, I am thankful. So, as weird as this may sound, thank you, cancer. Thank you for teaching me how to live and for showing me I have the ability to share the lessons I have learned with others as well. I choose to look at this unexpected obstacle as a gift, rather than a burden. Perspective makes all the difference.
I often practice a type of meditation called Tong-Len. Tong-Len, or giving and receiving, is a type of meditation practiced in Tibetan Buddhism. In this practice, you mentally visualize taking in another person’s pain and suffering while breathing in, and then “give” your own happiness/love/compassion to another person while breathing out.
As the Dalai Lama States in The Art of Happiness, this practice “may not necessarily succeed in alleviating real physical pain or lead to a cure in physical terms” (obviously, I agree, given that meditation is not akin to witchcraft); however, the positive concept and altruistic ideas of this practice can serve to “protect you from unnecessary additional psychological pain, suffering, and anguish.”
When we stop focusing on our own suffering, and instead focus on others’ suffering, we change our perspective in a powerful way.
The Dalai Lama goes on to say “May I, by experiencing this pain and suffering, be able to help other people and save others who may have to go through the same experience.”
With this technique, instead of feeling sad, hopeless, or upset by an unexpected challenge or state of personal suffering, we can instead look at this personal suffering as a “kind of privilege…a kind of opportunity” to turn our own suffering into a gift of compassion for others.
Today, I’ll keep this blog short because I have a lot of work to do on my book manuscript, people! But let me leave you with some random musings of the day:
Changing your perspective, looking at suffering as a privilege rather than as a burden, is sometimes all it takes to find personal happiness and to spread that happiness to others.
Fondly,
Courtney
Enjoy photos from the most beautiful spring day yesterday which I spent reading on my patio and in the park. The Dalai Lama’s autobiography had quite a busy day touring around Saint Paul. In between reading adventures, I went out for a run and made it 4 miles! I cToday is a rainy Tuesday in the middle of a pandemic and in the middle of my first cycle of chemoradiation, yet I’ve never been happier.
Today, I’m still alive. I’m sitting at home, eating my favorite foods (yep, my appetite came back!) and drinking an entire pot of coffee while I frantically type up all of the thoughts in my busy, busy brain.
Thanks to you, my incredible and inspiring readers, I have decided to turn this blog into a book. I had my first meeting with a fantastic publisher this morning to set the stage for what (I personally feel) could be an interesting story to share with the world.
I’m dying, as we all are, even though we don’t like to think about it. But, today I am alive and I choose to live this day in the best way that I possibly can.
I’m spending this precious day taking the words I have written on this blog and transforming them into a readable manuscript-half memoir, half nonfiction story- that is really much more exciting than any fictional story I could have ever come up with! Don’t you think?!
Malignant brain cancer may not be the answer for struggling writers around the world, but it was inspirational to at least one writer and for that, I am thankful. So, as weird as this may sound, thank you, cancer. Thank you for teaching me how to live and for showing me I have the ability to share the lessons I have learned with others as well. I choose to look at this unexpected obstacle as a gift, rather than a burden. Perspective makes all the difference.
I often practice a type of meditation called Tong-Len. Tong-Len, or giving and receiving, is a type of meditation practiced in Tibetan Buddhism. In this practice, you mentally visualize taking in another person’s pain and suffering while breathing in, and then “give” your own happiness/love/compassion to another person while breathing out.
As the Dalai Lama States in The Art of Happiness, this practice “may not necessarily succeed in alleviating real physical pain or lead to a cure in physical terms” (obviously, I agree, given that meditation is not akin to witchcraft); however, the positive concept and altruistic ideas of this practice can serve to “protect you from unnecessary additional psychological pain, suffering, and anguish.”
When we stop focusing on our own suffering, and instead focus on others’ suffering, we change our perspective in a powerful way.
The Dalai Lama goes on to say “May I, by experiencing this pain and suffering, be able to help other people and save others who may have to go through the same experience.”
With this technique, instead of feeling sad, hopeless, or upset by an unexpected challenge or state of personal suffering, we can instead look at this personal suffering as a “kind of privilege…a kind of opportunity” to turn our own suffering into a gift of compassion for others.
Today, I’ll keep this blog short because I have a lot of work to do on my book manuscript, people! But let me leave you with some random musings of the day:
Changing your perspective, looking at suffering as a privilege rather than as a burden, is sometimes all it takes to find personal happiness and to spread that happiness to others.
Fondly,
Courtney
© CB2020