Chapter 113: Happy Tears

Sometimes, we look at the negative side of things and then feel hopeless. This, I think, is a wrong view. 

~HH the Dalai Lama

I won’t say I was ever “happy” to receive a life changing cancer diagnosis, but I also was never exceptionally sad. Many people ask me how this is possible.

Life changes. Things happen. People get sick and people die. These facts are just facts. We can let these facts crush us, or we can find a way to smile through the tears.

This photo from the week of my diagnosis is me in the midst of a “happy cry.” I don’t believe in ignoring sadness or pursuing positivity over reality, but I do believe that joy and suffering can coexist.

Weep, smile, yell, laugh, and find the smallest sliver of hope in the misery. It makes all the difference.

——

I wrote that brief segment as part of a social media post today. I was sitting in my home office working on an upcoming speech when I came across this old photo. This photo was taken moments after the monk stopped by my hospital room and changed the entire perspective of my life.

“Smile, do not cry,” he said. So naturally, I started smiling and crying simultaneously for the next twenty or so minutes.

As I work on this speech, I’m feeling very much like I do in this photo.

I’m mentally preparing for my next MRI-l (3 day countdown 😬 ) while I’m also wrapping my head around the incredible speaking opportunities coming my way. The difficult gifts continue.

Happy tears feel ok today. No morning without evening, no success without failure, no joy without suffering. Sadness and happiness continue to coexist for me, and that’s ok

Fondly,

Courtney