Chapter 80: You Inspire Me
Since the release of Difficult Gifts one month ago, life has been busy, surreal, humbling, and incredible.
When I wrote Difficult Gifts, I was writing for myself. I was writing as fast as I possibly could as I had recently been told my brain cancer was aggressive and unpredictable. I didn’t know if I had years to live, or only months.
What I did know is that, regardless of the amount of time I had, I needed to leave something behind. I don’t know if a legacy is the right word. Perhaps a collection of memories, a book of stories to give my friends and family peace, laughter, and smiles after I was long gone.
Well, I’m still here and I’m - let’s be honest- kicking cancer’s sorry little ass.
I’m writing this blog today as I’m sitting in the lobby at the University of Minnesota’s imaging center, waiting for my bi-monthly MRI. I have a good feeling about this one. Cancer doesn’t have a chance this time.
As I wrote Difficult Gifts, I tried to write a story that would read with the excitement of a fiction novel but have the intimacy and honesty of a diary. I hope I succeeded.
As I was writing, I figured if I sold one book, I would be satisfied. If I could help even one person with my story, I would feel my purpose in this life had been fulfilled.
Well, thanks to many of you, I’ve sold nearly one thousand copies of Difficult Gifts and the sales keep climbing. I’ve been invited to speak on radio stations, podcasts, and various webinars around the world. I have articles coming out in newspapers and magazines. I live each day with a mixture of excitement and utter disbelief.
In addition to speaking and writing, at the beginning of this journey, I decided to share my personal email address with the world. I have received an unbelievable, overwhelming number of emails from readers who have found Difficult Gifts helpful - whether they have cancer themselves, a loved one with cancer, or have faced one of life’s many other difficult gifts, people around the world are sharing their most vulnerable moments and questions with me every day. For this, I am humbled.
Simply put, I have a bit of imposter syndrome going on. As I get emails from people saying I have inspired them, I don’t know how to put into words how much they have inspired me as well. To share your stories, thoughts and question with me so personally and honestly is inspiring. It’s why I keep writing, keep sharing, keep opening up about my own difficult gifts in order to help others with theirs.
Thank you all for your vulnerability, your support and your never ending love.
Heading into my scan now- let’s do this thing.
Fondly,
Courtney