Chapter 67: Words
Photo by Shari Fleming Photography
This week, I had an appointment with a Traditional Chinese Medicine clinic to learn about acupuncture and see if it could be a helpful, complimentary treatment to the brain surgeries, radiation therapy, chemotherapy, and countless other medications I’m currently using to treat my brain cancer and its associated symptoms- fatigue, insomnia (a pretty fun combination), nausea and stomach cramping (those aren’t even from the cancer, but rather the chemo treating the cancer).
I have only had one previous experience with acupuncture; in fact, my first experience with this was in Thailand, where I went to study integrative medicine. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor a few days later, so my lessons were sadly cut short.
As a Western-trained medical doctor, I have learned almost nothing about Eastern approaches, such as acupuncture, massage, yoga, herbal medicine, cupping, aromatherapy, and the like in my 20 or so years of education.
Sometime in my third year of medical residency, I realized how odd it was that even though Eastern medical treatments have been around for thousands of years, our lack of training in them almost denies their very existence.
I do not believe this lack of Eastern-based training in Western medical curriculum is malicious in any way. Rather, Western medical practices are based heavily on evidence-based medicine, treatments shown to be statistically effective in regulated and randomized clinical trials. Many Eastern medicine techniques are difficult to study in this way. Fortunately, this has been slowly changing as more studies examining Eastern-medical therapies have been published in recent years.
In 2017, a study by Widgren et al. demonstrated that patients experiencing chemotherapy-related nausea who were treated with acupuncture experienced milder nausea and needed less anti-nausea medication than their counterparts. Because of studies such as this one, many insurance companies now cover acupuncture for chemotherapy-associated nausea, among other conditions, like chronic pain.
Before I bore all of you with another paragraph about evidence-based medicine, let me explain why I’m writing this. Before I was a patient myself, I would be the first one in the room to roll my eyes when someone asked me if acupuncture, massage, or aromatherapy could heal. I honestly thought that simply because I hadn’t read any firm evidence about these treatments, that they were not worthy of my attention or investigation.
After becoming a patient, however, my views shifted. I am a member of many brain cancer support and advocacy groups. In these groups, I hear personal stories from hundreds of cancer patients who have used Eastern-based medical therapies instead of or in addition to their oncology treatments. Even if their physicians tell them not to bother, these patients are motivated to find alternative therapies, some of which may help heal them in ways Western science cannot fully explain.
I realized I had been using a very closed-minded view of what healing really is.
As a new physician, I had the incorrect understanding that healing meant strictly ridding or curing someone of an illness. So, today, I looked it up.
In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “heal” is defined in many ways, including:
To make well
To restore
As my Traditional Chinese Medicine provider sat down with me and asked me nearly all of the same questions that I ask my own patients, I started to feel a subconscious wall of bias come down. Her intentions sure seemed the same as mine would be in a new patient encounter: to heal. To make well, to restore. Her approach may have been different, but her goals were the same.
As my provider discussed where she would place needles in my body to balance out my flow of energy (or life force, known as chi or qi), I realized that even though I may be an expert on Western anatomy, I don’t have the slightest clue of where your acupuncture points or meridians are (which, according to Traditional Chinese Medicine, are pathways that transport life energy).
I realized how narrow my initial view of healing was. I have a type of cancer that cannot be cured. I live with brain cancer as a chronic illness. For me to feel healed, I need help controlling my symptoms so that I can live the life I want to live without restrictions.
I wouldn’t tell a patient that they should decline evidence-based Western medical treatment for their illness in favor of using only an Eastern approach; however, if a patient wants to add acupuncture, aromatherapy, and a massage to their medical plan, why the hell not? If a treatment with relatively few risks and many potential benefits can help a patient, including myself, I’m all in favor.
I can’t tell you that acupuncture or a massage will cure you, but I can say that it may heal you if it makes you feel well and restored.
As I lay on the acupuncture table, trying not to disturb the needles in my face, I had plenty of time to think. Perhaps, I thought, like most things in life, the words we put on things only give us the illusion of clarity, when really, their definitions are not so simple.
Eastern medicine vs Western medicine, Healthy vs. Sick, Right vs Wrong. Such clear words, yet such murky definitions.
What is healthy? In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “healthy” has many definitions, including
Beneficial to one's physical, mental, or emotional state
Showing physical, mental, or emotional well-being
With these definitions, I, a woman with high-grade brain cancer, could (on my good days) be considered healthy.
One could also argue that a person who has no evidence of disease, but suffers from mental or emotional dissatisfaction, is not healthy.
What then, does it mean to be sick? In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “sick” also has multiple definitions, including:
Spiritually or morally unsound
Mentally or emotionally unsound
With these definitions, I could (on my good days) be the least sick I’ve ever been in my life.
Let’s try the next one. This is kind of fun (for me…I have no idea how bored you all are reading this right now).
What is right? In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, “right” has many definitions, including:
Being in accordance with what is just, good, or proper
Conforming to facts or truth
Hmm…ok, not so clear-cut after all it turns out. Perhaps “wrong” is simpler:
An injurious, unfair, or unjust act
Immoral, or unethical
Nope, “wrong” may be the grayest gray zone so far.
Eastern vs Western medicine are even less-straightforward definitions to look up, but I can tell you that no matter how you define East and West, you can’t deny that they are literally connected, on the same line in fact, on any map in the world.
So, am I sick? Or am I healthy? Are you sick or are you healthy? Are my decisions right or wrong? Are yours? Is real medicine Eastern or Western? Etc. etc.
Humans invented the definitions of these words and the definitions, when you really read them, are almost as confusing and layered as the concepts themselves.
As a patient, my doctors may define me as “sick,” but when I feel joy, when I write, when I see my friends and family, when I practice mindfulness, when I take my dog for a delightful walk in the recent fall-like weather, I could define myself as “healthy.”
As a physician, I could tell my patient they should chose only Western-based medical therapy, or I could take the time to learn about Eastern-based treatments that may offer the ability to heal in a way I cannot fully explain. Perhaps having the full world worth of healing options available for my patients is better than having only a small piece. I am just one healer in a world full of healers, and I will be the first to admit, there is no way I can know it all.
I lack knowledge of Eastern-based medical treatments. I think, when we lack knowledge about something, it is easier to judge and jump to conclusions than to take the time to unlearn and relearn.
What if the best medicine is actually the full spectrum of medicine, East and West? What if there is no healthy or sick, but we are all a little bit of both? What if there is no right and wrong, just differences in knowledge and understanding?
When I opened my minds to this possibility, I feel free.
Fondly,
Courtney
©CB2020