Chapter 78: I’m Still Here
Today is February 8th, which is the day I became a published author. Even the fact that I typed that last sentence is absolutely surreal.
The last few weeks have been incredibly busy preparing for the official release of Difficult Gifts. Last week, my books finished up at the printer and hundreds of them were brought to a book distribution center in Minneapolis. The photo above was taken the day I picked up a handful of books from the distributor, which was also the very first time I saw the physical books. To have an idea in your head go from the conscious to the physical form that can be held and shared is like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
My publishing team at Wise Ink Creative Publishing and my cover designer, Holly Ovenden, did an absolutely standout job on this project. They believed in my ideas and helped turn my words into a literal work of art.
Apart from ogling over the physical copies of Difficult Gifts, I also had to get to work. So many of you wonderful people pre-ordered my book (thank you, thank you!) that I got to spend an exciting weekend in the Arctic tundra (of Minnesota) creating a home assembly line of sorts complete with a book signing table, a note station, a bookmark creation station, a shipping label printing station, and a packing station. This station had two very busy employees: me and my lovely significant other, Brock, who is an expert bookmark cutter, let me tell you.
After bringing the first 100 copies or so to the USPS to be shipped out this weekend, I shifted gears and did a few interviews. When both the Minnesota Daily and the Saint Paul Pioneer Press emailed me and requested interviews, I was floored. I think I am still in shock that these interviews not only happened, but each respective newspaper also set up a photo shoot with me this past weekend. Let’s hope this book is halfway decent since word is getting out!
In the middle of dreamlike photo shoots and shipping assembly line duties, I took a break yesterday and sat down with a copy of Difficult Gifts in my hand. I looked at it and started sobbing uncontrollably.
I had really no clear idea why this happened until moments later, when I reflected on a question that kept popping into my head. During my interviews, the news reporters asked me, “What was your timeline for writing Difficult Gifts. How did you get it done so quickly?”
During my interviews, I think I completely butchered my answers because it was hard for me to put this into words. However, as I sat at my desk yesterday holding my first published book with tears streaming down my face, the true answer came to me. When I started writing Difficult Gifts, I did a lot of research into similar memoirs. I read dozens of memoirs written by cancer warriors and the majority of them had two themes in common. 1) These memoirs were depressing. Shit, I mean really stinking depressing. And 2) These memoirs were published posthumously.
Immediately, I knew I did not want Difficult Gifts to follow either of those themes. This would be a memoir written by a cancer warrior, but it would not be depressing. It would not even be sad. It would be uplifting, even humorous at times.
Also, I wrote as fast as I possibly could. I wrote the entire manuscript to Difficult Gifts over a two-month period. I spent the next many months editing, re-writing, editing again, spell-checking, reviewing, and marketing. I wrote this thing so damn fast because, at the time, I did not know if I would still be alive at the time of publication.
Big publishing houses often take years to publish a book, while indie publishers can work much quicker. My publisher of choice, Wise Ink, understood my timeline and helped the project stay on track. I told my publishing team, I don’t know how long I have left to live, so let’s get this thing published in under a year.I will not be another cancer memoirist published posthumously. I refuse.
Well, today is February 8th and HOT DAMN I’m still here. I realized that my uncontrollable crying was a result of joy, not sadness. And friends, that is also the best way I can describe the overarching theme of this book. Difficult Gifts is the result of joy, not sadness. My greatest hope is that this book brings you some joy, as well.
Fondly,
Courtney Burnett